This memoir, originally intended as the first of a three-part series, was written in 1978 and first published in CLE 3A.

Erik Bloomquist, age seven, Plaza child, whose father owns, with Allen Ravenstine, the building at 3206 Prospect Avenue, was having trouble with his book report. He had chosen Oscar Wilde's The Happy Prince, far above his grade level, and the big words kept getting him stuck. I told him that the story was originally written for adults, and that one of my teachers had read it to us, but not until we were in the sixth grade. "Well," Erik said, "I could have picked an easier life."

When I was 15, Jim Crook taught me the D, G and C chords on this beat-to-hell acoustic guitar he had, and the rest is a blur...A year later we saw the Velvets at LaCave. I saw God, Jim saw Sterling (who played just like God, but was taller and had a mustache) and realizing that I needed only 2/3 of my vast musical knowledge to play Heroin, we were off and stumbling.

Being in the Eels was akin to attending a "Re-Education Camp." We had a strident party line (that party line being made up as we went along) about practical nihilism, work ethic and art esthetic. Bandied about were phrases like "Art Terrorism" and "The Artist's Rules" an example of which was #13: "Artists can be self-contradictory." We took it all very seriously and practiced hard for hours on end with no real understanding of how to work effectively. We would play a song and then play it again, the exact same way with the exact same mistakes. None of us had any conception of how to get a gig, record, promote ourselves, et-fucking-cetera.